Jaki Jean on the Day After Emily Kate's 21st Birthday

Twenty one years ago, yesterday, Emily Kate Douglas was born to my sister, Janet Ettinger Douglas & David Douglas.

Most people in my life know that my sister Janet was my Lamaze coach & birth partner during the births of both my sons.  During my son Nick’s induced birth, she never left my side, never took a break, never left me alone.  During my son Sam’s entrance, she stood by my side & told me I did not have to be so brave, I could ask for drugs & at least once told me to behave.  She was my rock & my center both times.

My sister Janet held my sons before I did.  And she has held them close in her heart all these thirty years later.

Janet knew her child would be a girl – I remember when she called & told me.  I do believe I said fuck you.  Of all of Jack & Jean’s children, I was the only one not to give birth to a girl.  A true testament to God’s sense of humor.  Or, perhaps, Her wisdom.

When Janet was in labor with Emily, I felt honor bond to visit her.  Of course, she did not need me as a Lamaze partner – her amazing partner was her loving husband, David. 

But I went in.  I stood behind a nurse as she examined Janet & I thought, Oh, my god, she did this for me & for my babies twice? 

David never stopped touching her.  He was the essence of calm & assurance & support.  So like Janet was with me, but so much more.  This was his wife, his partner, his sister in Christ, his baby coming into the world.

While I was in the room trying to focus my vision on anything but the V leading to my sister’s most personal parts, Janet asked me:

 

Is this not the hardest work you have ever done?

I told her yes, but it is work & pain with a purpose & at the end you get a beautiful baby.

She was not amused.  I will not repeat what she said to me, but it involves a word our mother Jean keeps telling me I must not use.  Although I have used it in this post.

The nurses who assisted in Janet’s labor told our mother that they had never seen a team so in tune with one another, had never seen the likes of David & Janet.

That team, Emily Kate, brought you into this world.  Not just from their lovemaking or during labor, but throughout these twenty-one years of your life (plus those nine months in my sister's uterus).

You are your mother’s only child & your father’s only daughter.  And no little girl was ever more welcomed or more loved or more cherished.

That same team that worked during labor to bring you into the world will continue nurture & sustain you.

Their love & support will never die – you will experience & appreciate & sometimes sigh over it for the rest of your life.

Janet & David gave you the groundwork, the tools, their faith & support to grow into a caring, responsible being.  I think they are the finest parents I know.

But you, Emily, you made the choice to be the amazing young women you are.

So, Emily, on this, the day after you have turned 21, I salute not only my sister & your father, but you.

I salute the wonder you have chosen to be.