Jaki Jean, Jean & Another Challenge as a Caregiver

So, last week I contacted an agency, referred by my sister Janet’s friend Maria, to send out an eye doctor to check out Jean’s eyes.  Not only has it been too long, but one morning while repositioning Jean, I rolled her over on her glasses.  They are now held together by the same tape used with bandages.

All my life, Jean has loved to read.  As did my father Jack.  So glasses are essential to Jean’s day.  Reading is a pleasure that does require her to leave her bed.

I explained the situation to the agency & mentioned that Jean had not seen a doctor in several years, that her eye doctor retired & then we all got distracted by other issues.

So, this week, a doctor & nurse arrived.  As we walked back to Jean’s room, I started to explain that she has Parkinson’s & is hard of hearing.  He cut me off & said we would sit down & talk about it. 

I started to say Did no one share her case information with you?  I could not imagine what we needed to discuss in order to give Jean an eye exam.

But, trying to be a kinder & gentler Jaki Jean, I just lead the doctor & nurse to the room & then told Jean that the eye doctor was here.

The doctor announced:  I am not an eye doctor.

I asked him who he was & he said he was a family physician.  Stunned, I commented that Jean had no need of a family physician or a primary care doctor. 

The same doctor has been caring for my mother for almost two decades.  I asked for an eye doctor.

I escorted the doctor & nurse out of the house.  Their faces showed that each thought I was insane, I am sure I returned the same look.

When I called the Outreach Eye Clinic to ask why they sent a family physician instead of an eye doctor, I reached the same associate, Felicia (I remembered because my beloved eldest niece is named Felicia). 

Expressing my dismay & confusion, Felicia told me that she sent a primary physician because I told her Jean had not seen a doctor in several years.

Luckily, I took a deep breath & did not reply what I was screaming in my mind:  Seriously?  Context, woman, context.  An eye doctor.  Jean has not seen an eye doctor.  Her eye doctor retired.

Instead, again trying to be a kinder & gentler Jaki Jean, I replied:

I believe that I failed to communicate effectively.   When my I told you that my mother had not seen a doctor in several years, I failed to say an eye doctor.

Now,  make no mistake, I do not believe the failure to communicate was mine alone.  Communication is a two way street.  It is as important to listen effectively as it is to speak effectively. 

But I have learned a few things in six decades on this planet.  Sometimes, to get what you want or need, taking ownership of a misunderstanding that is not entirely your fault gets you the desired result.

An eye doctor will be here tomorrow.

On a brighter note, it is candy corn season !